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“Dear Abby..”

Dear Abby, 

I am a 14 year old girl and I really like this guy at school. I’m shy, so instead of telling him, I drew a picture of him and wrote on the back that I like him and taped it to his locker so he could see it. I didn’t sign it.

He thought it was weird and doesn’t know it’s me. He already has a girlfriend and she hates what I did. She says she thinks whoever did it is a stalker. 

I feel really stupid. I don’t know what to do now. I wasn’t trying to be creepy. I just wanted him to know how much I love him. Should I tell him it was me? 

-HOPELESS AND LOVELESS

Doesn’t this girl SCREAM a “New Tools” kid – right attitude, wrong behavior!? 

The attitude of liking someone and wanting them to know it can’t be bad – it’s a great time in her life to explore these new feelings of love, just wrong timing with this boy (remember:  girlfriend already). The behavior of putting a picture on his locker and professing her love on the back ( ..and remember: while he has a girlfriend ) is only a setup for a negative response from him and her peers. 

So, you have this student in class and you overhear the gossip and you recognize the handwriting, what do you do? 

It is your turn to be “Dear Abby”  and allow the student to acknowledge that the behavior may have been wrong, but the attitude it not. Encourage the student to see that the timing of this note may have been off, and that in the future if the timing is right she could brainstorm options of sharing feelings that don’t suggest “stalker” to others.

 

 

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